Creative Shenanigans
by Conuresans
Summary: Just a oneshot collection of padlock, mostly fluffy stuff. Note: The ratings will vary, T being the highest so look at the Author's notes before reading as the rating WILL be in it.
1. Mary Evangeline Timespringer

**This oneshot is T because of an implication of behind-the-scenes stuff and a few harsh words. I'll also be cowriting every once in a while with one of my fantastic tumblr friends, marytimespringer! ^^  
**

* * *

_Paige hollered Tony's name at the top of her lungs. _After nine months of suffering, her first pregnancy was finally over. Her face was as white as it could get, dry ink stains all over her blood red cheeks. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute, her breathing staggered. She was going to kill him for telling her it'd be a piece of cake...Yeah, it was almost as bad as the time they made heart cake, but it was a close second.

She hissed, "Where is she?"

The nurse who was on stand by was petrified. Before she started pushing, she looked homicidal. She stammered, "S-She's getting the all clear...A-Anything else you need?"

"Get my husband in here."

"Your not going to kill anyone, are-"

"Go!"

She let out a small squeak and made a run for it.

* * *

Tony was twiddling his fingers, humming to try to keep himself entertained. He ignored her screeching, completely adjusted to it. The nurse stepped out and trembled as she walked his direction. He looked up at her, asking, "Yes?"

"Y-Your wife would like to see you. I'd be careful though."

He saw her fear and sighed. He stood up and lead himself to the room, even though she said he needed a guide. But he knew the place well enough to know where she was and how the system worked. There were 3 levels they put the client in, depending on many factors. Frequency in visits, importance of visits, _sanity, _and many other things.

He opened the door and slid in, seeing if she was asleep. Unfortunately, she wasn't. She flat out asked, "You realize your going to die for doing this to me, right?"

"Yes, but I do not regret that night."

She sighed, "That was a good night, the aftermath wasn't as good though."

"Yeah...Speaking of it, where is the little squirt?"

"Squirt? Really Tony? She'll have a name you know."

He laughed at her, "I know, but I wanted to say that."

She rolled her eyes. The door flung open with the nurse now wearing earplugs and carrying a small pink blanket. The blue man leaned back in his chair, looking like an applauding walrus. She looked at him like he needed a psychologist and continued on. Paige reached out her arms and grabbed the wad.

She played with the fabric a little, looking at the squished face. She had the same cerulean skin as her father but had a mix of her freckles and the red on his face. Her eyebrows were currently thin, but also the same color as his. She smiled and laughed, "It's a surprise how such a dork like your daddy can make a good father."

"Hey! I'm right here you know!"

The nurse interrupted while she pulled out one ear plug, "Um, before this gets too far, what's her name so we can finish the birth certificate?"

Paige stared blankly at her. Tony was always so caught up in his work they didn't really have much time to discuss it. She stuttered, "Well, uh...Hm...So many options..."

He got up and looked at the child finally, and in a moment replied, "Mary."

"Excuse me? It's Evangeline." She decided.

"Mary."

"Evangeline."

"Honey, she _LOOKS_ like a Mary."

"Well I say Evangeline because it's more creative."

"Look, let's flip a coin."

"Oh how boring!"

"Then what do you suggest?"

"Let's see...Ooh! Ooh! Why not roll a die?"

He gave her a look. The nurse shrugged and pulled a die out of her pocket. She made the rules, "Okay, you in the blue, you get even numbers. New mother, you get odds. Got it?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Couldn't she be asleep already? She shook her hand a bit before dropping it on the stand.

She rolled a 2. Paige groaned, "What? That's not fair! Roll aga-"

"Ah ah ahh~ She said once! Look, Evangeline will be her middle name, alright? How does that sound?"

"Mary Evangeline Timespringer...I like it. I guess." She shrugged.

"Then it's settled! Now go put it in the com-"

"Meh."

Tony looked at Paige and asked, "What'd you say meh for in your most childish voice?"

"That wasn't me!"

They all looked at the child, who again whimpered, "Meh."

The nurse bent over and said, "Aw-"

The new parents unanimously said, "No, not aw!"

"M-Meh. MEh. MEH." The child's voice grew louder and louder until she was screaming it at the top of her lungs.

The nurse covered her ears, only to feel the blood trickle from her eardrums. She put in her earplugs and ran out of the room screaming "Dammit, how can a child be that damn loud?"

"What the hell are we supposed to do now?!"

She shot him a look and said, "Feed her, duh!"

"Ho- Oh...I'll step out for a minute then." He backed away before Paige could smack him.

She watched him exit before giving the child what it wanted. She smiled and cooed, "Your pretty loud for someone like yourself, huh~? Even daddy got annoyed pretty quickly, imagine when your bigger!"

After a while, he reentered the room and asked, "So how is she?"

She grinned, "She's doing well. She's a hungry little one though."

He smiled, "So, where is she?"

"Hm? Oh, we have to wait a bit longer."

"Ah yes. So did you ever find out when your coming home?"

"Tomorrow."

"Great...So any last minute things you need?"

She shook her head, "Just whatever you need to do."

He almost spoke when the intercom announced visiting hours were over and all visitors needed to leave. His smile faded as he knew he'd have to leave her be for one night. Usually it wasn't too hard, but it'd been a while and it'd just feel unusual to not hear her talking to herself while she paints or be in the house. She saw his sadness and said, "Hey, I'll miss you more."

He looked at her as he slowly stepped out, replying, "No no Paige, I'll miss _you _more."

"Oh no darling, you know how I am being alone."

He rolled his eyes and murmured, "See you tomorrow."

"See you-"

She was cut off by the door closing. He escorted himself out and decided to walk home so he'd save time getting the car ready. Besides, the weather was gorgeous, so why not spend a little time in it?


	2. Intros and Cookies

**I posted this on my tumblr first because it was inspired by an artist from there called blueomoon who did a headshot of Kid!Paige and Kid!Tony...So the design credit goes to them. Anyhow, this one's T for one vulgar word and implied violence and abuse so if you get triggered by those...Don't read this. ****The next one will be K, I swear. (Also sorry if some parts don't make sense. .-.)  
**

**DISCLAIMER! I do not own DHMIS or the designs used except for Mrs. Turner or Mrs. Crimson. **

* * *

The basic black watch on his arm read 11:05, meaning there was still 25 minutes of recess left until class resumed. Today they'd learn multiplication, which he already knew how to do being the teacher's pet…However, he didn't really know anybody but the teachers and he was too scared to tell them he was being picked on. _A lot._

His fellow peers would laugh, "Hey Tony, why are you all alone? Oh right, your too dorky for friends!" or he'd occasionally hear them murmuring about what he did in his free time and joking about it.

The door flung open, catching his attention away from the textbook in front of him. A grown woman sashayed through the door. Her red heels smacked the floor as she made her way towards Mrs. Crimson's desk. Behind her a little girl rushed.

He instantly recognized her by her bounce in her step and short, pastel hair. He never really caught her name, despite remembering her getting in trouble a lot for not doing the assignment or goofing around. The teacher raised her head and adjusted her green glasses, chiming, "Hello Mrs. Turner! How are-"

She was interrupted by her hissing, "Don't waste your time with the simple conversation. You called me here about my daughter's behavior. What did she do this time?"

The boy was shocked that such an uptight person like her could raise a bubbly energetic girl like the one she had…Then again, they were only 8, they had plenty of time to have a shift in personality. The girl tried to walk away, only to be scolded. She slouched and crawled back to the desk, knowing there would be a consequence for it later.

Mrs. Crimson cleared her throat before setting down her paperwork, "Ah yes, I'm afraid her focus is lacking which is causing her grades to fall…"

"Her grades are falling?! Paige! Why the hell are your grades falling?!"

His face went blank. Her language was also very vibrant, he knew they weren't supposed to be used with someone her age. She sobbed, "I-I don't know-"

She received a smack in the face, causing the teacher to shoot up from her chair, "Mrs. Turner, that i-"

"Silence!"

He knew she wanted to speak, but afraid of picking a fight, she sat back down. The little girl continued sobbing and wailing, "I just can't do math! I'm sorry mommy! I don't like it so I don't focus on it!"

"Well sometimes you have to do things ya don't like!"

"Mrs. Turner, she's only a child-"

"Yes but every child should be able to do math! Especially one of mine!"

The teacher quietly pulled her cell phone out of her desk as the argument between mother and child escalated. The police on the other end heard everything from the cursing all the way to the smacking. Tony put a bookmark in his book and pulled out a cookie and juice box for the poor girl.

After about five minutes, the sheriff and two other officers stormed through the door, handcuffs in hand. The mother attempted to put up a fight but inevitably failed to at least take a swing. He growled, "Your under arrest for child abuse and resisting arrest."

Paige stood there, still bawling and sniffling. He got up from his chair once they went away and stopped two paces away from her. This was one of the few times he had even tried to interact. Thoughts filled his head as he kept staring at her, "_What if this is too much at once? What if she doesn't like me? Maybe I shouldn't have left my book—"_

She looked up at him, letting him catch a glimpse of her. Her eyes were puffy, but even then they were a magnificent shade of lavender with an adorable nose to match. Her skin was like nobody else's, a shade of cream-white. She sobbed, "What do you want?"

His heart pounded at mach one. He shakily asked, "D-Do you want something to eat? I have a cookie over by my desk I'm not eating…"

She tried to wipe a tear from her eye, "What kind?"

"Chocolate chip with macadamia nuts."

She nodded, following him. He pulled a chair and turned it before returning to his own seat. She sat in it as he set his book aside and handed her the cookie. She murmured, "Thank you."

He smiled, "Welcome. If you wanna drink, let me know."

"That would be nice…"

He bent over his brown paper bag and pulled out the juice box, gliding it across the desk. She weakly smiled and pulled out the straw, taking small sips. She set it down and asked, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but…What's your name?"

He froze, surprised she wanted to get to know him. He thought she'd take the food and go away and join the rest of the student body in their fun and mocking.

"M-My name's…T-Tony."

"Tony? Hm, " She bit into the cookie, putting her free pointer finger in the air, "I feel like I know you from somewhere…"

He sighed, recalling every time someone made fun of him ever since he could remember. Instead she grinned, imagining if every time he was teased he'd get a dollar he'd be richer than Bill gates. The two laughed over it for a few moments, unaware of the teacher leaving the room. She then went on to say that wasn't it before finishing her drink and tossing it out.

"Oh! I almost forgot. I'm Paige." She smiled.

"Paige…Nice name."

"Thank you!"

Before they could continue, the bell rang. He threw the bag in a garbage bin, claiming there wasn't anything good in there anyway. She asked if he was sure he wanted to wait to eat and he assured her there was food at home and he could go a few hours without it. She stuffed the rest of the cookie in her face and nearly choked on it.

Soon their classmates were flooding in, still energized. After she turned her chair, he grabbed the back of it and used his middle finger to rub the bottom of her neck to get attention. After a minute of ink drizzling on it, she turned her head.

He asked, "Hey…D-Do you wanna…_maybe_ come over after school? I heard you need help with ma-"

Her eyes lit up as she tried to contain her excitement, "Sure, I'd love to!"

Mrs. Crimson reentered the classroom, announcing the lesson for today. He watched turn her head back around and pull out her small notepad. One thing in class, however, was different. When she was almost done giving the assignment, she announced that today the class could work in groups of two, glancing towards them, grinning. Usually you'd work alone or in groups of threes, never two.

After instructions, the girl whipped her chair around. She didn't need to ask, he just smiled and said, "Okay, first let me pull out the multiplication table for you…"


	3. Good Directions

**K+ just to be safe. Based off the song "Good Directions" by Billy Currington.**

* * *

Paige glanced around the seemingly abandoned field, trying to figure out where she was. Unfortunately, she wasn't that great with directions and her mom had sent her to town to pick up food and told her to try to remember where she was going and how to get there.

She was nearly startled when she heard a squish, only to find a lone fish. Peculiar since even she knew there wasn't a lake for miles... Then her question was answered when she looked behind her and discovered a beat up truck with a blue-skinned male to blame.

She sucked in her gut and caught him by surprise, "Excuse me, sir!"

Tony stopped knawing on his fish and looked the girl down... She was rather short, but kinda pretty with her seemingly squishy face. He swallowed and replied, "Yes, miss?"

"I'd like to know where the next drop off is. I think I took a wrong turn."

He rolled his eyes. This gal had to have the brain the size of a nut to not know where she was. He groaned, "You go East for a bit, then past this little neighborhood. Stop into the little antique shop and get yourself a bottle of water because it's gonna be a long trip. Then you take a left at the intersection, however, if you ever get the feeling you wanna come back, you can take a right."

She thanked him and hurried on her way. Almost immediately, he had regret giving her directions. Her British accent was rather cute to him, and her unusual eyes of violet reminded him of lavenders. He finished his piece of fish and leaned back, wanting to bang his head against the metal.

_'Quit dreaming Tony. She probably thought you were a freakshow with your appearance!' _He complained subconsciously.

...

Paige stumbled across the crosswalk to the small store. It looked charming enough with it's local posters hanging from the billboard near the door. As the doorbell chimed a familiar melody, a middle-aged woman turned her head to her and smiled, "Afternoon ma'am! Need somethin'?"

She nodded, "I was told by a man on a truck to stop by here for some water before I continue to the intersection."

"Ahh, Tony?"

Her cheeks turned to a very light tint of grey. She didn't use her manners and catch his name. It was a shame, he looked like her type. She asked as she stood on her tip toes with her arm reached over her head, "Yea tall? Blue?"

She nodded, "That's ma adoptive son. He's always tellin' people to come here if they get lost."

"Oh...He was a looker." She admitted sheepishly.

"Yep! Although, most say he's kinda unusual... But hey, we're all weird in our own lil' ways!"

She nodded as she continued her way into the shop. She could've used a little inspiration for her next art project... She listened to the woman shuffle through objects and return to set said water on the counter. Paige asked as she pulled out change out of her bag, "How much?"

"Nothin'...Although, I gotta know."

"Hm?"

"Do you plan on goin' back or nah?"

Paige glanced down, tapping her fingers against the glass. She could do that, but then she'd have to explain why she didn't get to town in time... But if she missed him on her way home, she knows she'd be bound to regret it and have to be curious about it forever.

Paige reluctantly huffed, "I'm going back."

She grinned, "Good choice. In that case, take this..."

She returned to the back and came back minutes later with a grocery bag. The woman smiled, "It's his dinner. He's supposed to be working but the man just sits around eatin' fish! Not that I'd blame him, have you _seen_ him? He's practically skin and bone!"

Paige nodded as she neared the door, "I'll deliver it to him, don't worry."

"Thank you darlin'! Have a nice day~!"

The doorbell swung back and forth as she started her trek back. She was hoping she wouldn't get lost... Or turned down.

...

Tony yanked on the pole, trying to pull his catch in. Unfortunately, he got a weenie trout. He sighed, tossing it in the basket. He still regret not getting any information on the girl from earlier, and not even fishing was helping.

He thought he heard bushes move, but waved it off as a rabbit or other small animal. Then he felt fabric brush against his pant leg. He got up and threw the line again, sitting down without looking to his side. He didn't want to get his hopes up to find it's just a bandana flying through the wind or something.

Until a black hand handed him a bottle of water, that same accent asking, "Want a drink? You look a little dehydrated."

His face lit up as he looked over, seeing her from before. He set the fishing pole in the ground, immediately embracing her. Realizing what he was doing, he let go. She probably just came to do him a favor. However, curiousity got the best of him when she didn't leave. He asked, "Why did you come back? Aren't you gonna leave?"

She shook her head, "I stopped by the shop like you told me to and decided to come back because I didn't want to lose you."

His heart was pounding out of his chest. She continued, "I understand if you want me to go and-"

He interrupted, "You? Go? No, I-I was actually hoping you'd come back..."

"Really?" Her eyes danced like the lake he was fishing out of.

"Yep. So, ah, what should we do now?"

He saw something tug on the pole. He grabbed it and slowly started reeling it in. She thought for a moment before commenting, "Introductions would be a good start."

"Oh yes! I'm Tony. Tony Timespringer. You are...?"

"Paige. Paige Marie."

"Paige Marie...Nice ring to it."

He smiled as he pulled it in and happily tossed it in the bucket, humming, "Well I suppose that's the last of them for today. Any ideas for the rest of the evening?"

She shrugged, "I don't know...Know a good movie?"

"Well there's a small theater in town if you wanna go see something."

"Alright, let's go."

They stood up as Paige grabbed the bucket for him. He rushed to the old car and turned it on, watching her set down the bucket on the floorboards and pull herself up stomach-first. He heard her click her seat-belt shut and fired the engine.

...

"And that my dear child, is how me and your mother met."

Mary stared at her father blankly. She just asked for a bedtime story, expecting something like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, not geneology stories. Paige stroked her stubby hair as the two looked at him. The child commented, "Daddy, I didn't want some dumb boring story, I wanted a bedtime story. You know, like Cinderella?"

He sighed, "Yes but you'll realize how interesting your mommy and daddy's love story is one day."

"Yeah, when I become_ boring._"

Paige commented, "She has a point. You are kinda bleh."

Tony teased, "Thanks for the compliment honey."

"Welcome~!"

Mary hissed, "Can you guys continue when I'm not awake?"

"Sorry Mary Fairy-"

"Don't call me that either!"

Paige swished her lips to the other sides of her face. She soon lit up and asked, "How about to make up for Daddy's boring story I tell you one you do wanna hear?"

"Okay!"

The rainbow-haired woman turned to her husband, pouting. He shrugged and left the room, warning her to not go overboard on it. As soon as he left, she began telling her another story.


	4. Here Comes the Paige

**T for cursing, alcohol use and slight suggestive mentions.**

**P.S. Expect a ton of songfics in the near future.**

* * *

Paige flopped the veil open, watching it roll out of the room only to hear a thump and screech of distress. She smiled as she turned and gently placed it upon her head, the branches brushing against her rarely neat hair. Although it was a formal event, she still wanted to have her hair in a tangled jungle, not in order...

But she made the mistake of letting Tony plan everything. The least she could get him to let her do was have veil that was longer than the hall she was to walk to to get to the altar... And let her decide on a dress that they both agreed on, which proved to be a challenge but in the end they settled on a Victorian-like ballgown with a rather long train that trailed to the edge of the room.

She heard a sudden knock on the door. The doorknob twisted and in came the man of the hour, grumbling, "Come on Paige, hurry up! We're going to be late!"

She laughed, "Tony, calm down. We've got a good half hour, why are you so up in arms about this?"

"Because everything must be perfect, my dear."

"Not everything."

"_Yes everything!_"

They stared at each other, losing patience with every drop of a second. They unanimously folded their arms, furrowing their brow. Paige commented, "Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"I already did everything I needed to. Just waiting on you."

"Shouldn't you be waiting in the altar like all the other grooms do?"

"Then it would be a waste of time. Something could go wrong in a half hour that could spell disaster."

"You and your time, y'know, I wonder why you didn't marry your pocket-watch instead of me!"

He covered his face, stepping back. Paige crinkled her nose, continuing, "You never do anything fun! Your never creative with date plans it's always a classic with you! Why can't you try anything new for once instead of a museum or a stale movie?! Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I stuck with my polar opposite!"

He stepped towards her, hissing, "Well at least I don't have a god damn collection of stuffed animals!"

"How did you find that?!"

"You were running late as usual and I looked around-"

"Wait, as usual?! I'm not late that often!"

"Psh, your not fooling me with that. Your five minutes late to every date-"

"Five minutes isn't late! A half hour is late!"

* * *

The bickering went on for 25 minutes, resulting in the room being torn apart from Paige tossing glass and missing, to Tony throwing makeup and chairs. Paige chuckled, "Your gonna be late, the wedding is in five minutes!"

She remembered what she said was of importance. Her mischievous smile turned into an open jaw hiding behind her palm. Tony froze, having shoved her against the wall, ready to deliver the final blow. He had only been late on three occasions in his life and he wished to keep it that way. He let her loose of his tight grip, murmuring to himself as he rushed down the hall and to the two enormous white doors.

Before he went in, he had a mini-overlook to ensure perfection. His usual cut was slicked back to his neck, he double lint-rolled his suit before he even put the thing _on -_with no wrinkles, but that was a given for him-, his shoes were as shiny as when he bought them...Everything seemed fine as far as hygiene goes.

Taking a breath, he flung the doors open and steadily made his way to the front, turning to his left like a toy clockwork solider. He raised a brow at the organist, who immediately began to play as soon as she met his glance. He smiled as he adjusted his bow-tie, imagining Paige standing before him.

Without moving his head, he turned his gaze towards the crowd. He was surprised how much of both families came. He could see his braggart cousin Benny, his overly obsessive aunt Drizzle, and his adoptive parents watching... He knew there was some of Paige's family there, but he didn't know much of any of them really.

As if it were, Tony turned his body towards the crowd as the door creaked open. Paige cautiously made her way to the front as the music changed to the classic "Here comes the bride", masking her face. They agreed to surprise his family as she also hadn't met them yet...Except his parents a long time ago. Ink dribbled down her dress and shoes, leaving a trail. All the guests stood, watching. She reminded herself in her head not to mess up or make a scene... That was her specialty.

She walked up the stairs and turned towards him, smiling. He grinned at her and took her hands. As the priest begun the long introduction, Paige murmured, "Tony, don't muck up."

He replied, "Relax, I won't."

"Promise?"

"Anthony, do you accept this woman as your lawfully wedded wife?"

He bit his lip. He almost got caught. He coughed, "I do sir."

"Paige, do you take this man as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Yea- I mean, I do." She corrected herself. If she burst out like that, she'd be bound to regret it later.

Tuning out of his nonsense, Tony whispered, "Promise. Now shut up and we'll talk later."

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Paige giggled as she saw more of her soon-to-be husband. He checked his clock.

_1 minute and 5 seconds early._

He glanced back at her, then the clock.

_1 minute and 2 seconds._

He murmured something, grabbed her by the back and pulled her in. She gripped his jacket as though she was going to drop, but soon began to relax and reached for his neck. He noticed the soft touch and pulled away, telling her to wait. She hesitantly agreed.

* * *

The sound of clinking glass vibrated through the hall, gathering attention towards the end of the table. Tony pressed the ball of his wrist against his forehead, groaning. Paige grabbed his arm, inquiring what was wrong. He pointed in the direction of the sound. His younger brother, Dimon, was about to say something. He murmured in her ear, "He can be incredibly embarrassing and a nuisance at times."

She asked, "How old is he?"

"He's 13, aka at the most obnoxious point in a young man's life."

The teenager croaked, "_Ladies_...Gents."

Tony rolled his eyes and watched his day begin to unravel. Dimon continued, "I know we've gathered for my older brother's _hopefully_ happy marriage with- What's her face, um."

Tony mumbled, "Paige."

"Paige! Yes! Anyhow, I would like to make a toast," He picked up the glass, "To my older brother and sister-in-law!"

The couple groaned as they and the crowd unanimously stood and clattered their glasses together. As soon as the noise was off, guests seated themselves once again as the couple reclined in their seats. She huffed in his ear, "Tony, this is boring."

"Yes, well, you agreed to it and we'll be back home soon enough."

Dimon bounced between them, "Speaking of homes! Mum and dad got you a new one just for you two!"

Tony groaned, "Lovely, but Dimon we wish to be undisturbed when we're talking."

"Oh? Talking about doing the thing?"

Paige nearly spat her drink, some drops escaping her mouth. She stood up and excused herself, taking off the veil and setting it in her seat. She grabbed Tony's wrist and pulled him out of the dining hall.

* * *

Paige latched herself on the highest point of the room, attempting to avoid Tony. It had been an hour since they left the room and talked about how to handle his sibling's behavior, but it didn't go as planned and wound up in a family war that was bound the be costly in damages...But at this point, nobody really cared.

Tony latched on her shoulder, laughing as she let out a squeak. He pulled himself up to her cheek, but that was too much force for her. Her inky fingers slid from the oak, the couple now falling to a painful landing. He embraced her, squeezing his eyes shut.

After seconds, nothing. He felt the light, airy fabric tapping his back, but no crash, bang or even the pain of landing on his side... The bride was also laughing? He opened an eye and nearly had a heart attack when he saw they were nose-to-nose. He stammered, "Paige! W-What the hell happened?! And why are we this close?"

She giggled, "My veil got caught on a loose nail and somehow we ended up wrapped together because you were clinging on me and I was clinging on a piece of it. Honestly I thought you'd be bolder than that."

"We were close to the ceiling and you expected me to be bolder than clinging onto you?!"

"Well you've _certainly_ done worse."

"Excuse me?! I've done worse?! Your not one to-"

He was interrupted by her head tilting and her charcoal lips pressing against his. A shot of Adrenaline caused him to jump, but he didn't see anyway of getting out anytime soon. He sighed and returned the kiss, before hearing the fabric rip and the large thud he was waiting for as he let go of her mouth. He squeaked. The fall still hurt despite the large wad of fabric on his side.

He felt her inky index finger poke his nose as she giggled, "Boop!"

He scoffed, "Hmp. You got lucky with that one... But don't expect me to let you pull a stunt like that again!"

"Oh come now Tony, you know how I get around your over the top rulebook~."

"One, it's not over the top. Two, That's on special occasions or I just don't have the time or energy to care about it."

He picked her up, barely avoiding a flying silver platter and lugged her out of the room. She nuzzled up against his chest with her arms tangled around his neck. She slid her eyelids shut and watched the spots fade into a subconscious thought.

* * *

Paige woke up on an unfamiliar bed, with Tony looking more lazy than usual...For a moment, she wondered if she was in the right house because he had his feet up on the coffee table! He'd usually scold her for doing that, yet there he was, doing the opposite. She muttered, "Darling, how long have I been out?"

He snapped back into his signature pose, glancing back at her. He blinked, "About 6 hours."

"6 ho- How?!"

"No clue...Guess it all tuckered you out. Did you sleep well?"

She nodded, repositioning herself so she was leaning on his arm. She was still a bit droopy, but that was bound to wear off at any moment. She muttered, "I had a dream about you."

He clicked to another channel, "Really?"

She made a small noise and started explaining. They were at a ball, except they had the wrong theme and scared everyone off somehow. They spent most of the time dancing, but there was a moment that stood out to her. They were taking a break and Tony said something, but she couldn't recall what. He was gesturing like it was something vital and was speaking at an unusually fast pace, but when she said she couldn't understand it he got frustrated and shook it off.

He focused on her body language throughout the story, nodding and making noises every once in a while. When she finished, he commented, "Well that was rather bizarre."

She burst, "I know right? I mean, I think you were saying something about kids but if you were then I'd say woaahhhh friend slow down! We just got married for goodness sake! Not only do you not like kids last I checked, my mother could barely handle that, let alone us-"

"Paige, your rambling again."

She covered her mouth and apologized. Rambling was a nasty habit she had. Although she didn't do it as much as a few years before, she still occasionally did it and wouldn't even realize it. When he realized that wasn't something that could permanently be done away with, he just decided to tell her of when she did it and she'd usually quit for a bit.

He nodded and asked if she wanted to eat something. She pondered on it for a moment before accepting the offer and suggesting Chinese food from Lo Kat. Normally he'd argue that it stains his clothes (which most take dry cleaning) but decided against it and picked up the phone on the nightstand and take-out menu the welcoming committee left earlier.

As soon as the order was placed with a proper thank you, he hit "end call" and was about to return to the guest bedroom until there was a rapping at the door. He rolled his eyes and got up from the sofa he sat on.

Meanwhile, Paige heard him cheerfully greet someone and invite them in. Fabulous. She hoped she'd get him alone for a bit...But no, she _had_ to sleep through the possible time they had together without any damn distractions. She heard the door shut and shoes hit the floor, indicating they meant to spend a while there. She glanced at the digital alarm clock next to her.

It was just about the time he said they'd eat. Were they staying for dinner? She thought he ordered just enough for the two of them as per request, but she didn't hear his order because he was in the kitchen. Speaking of the male, he chimed as he stepped through the door, "Paige~! I got dinner~!"

She grumbled, "Who was that?"

"That was the delivery guy."

"What was the thump for from the doorway?"

"Oh, those were my shoes."

He was lying. He paused between 'oh' and 'those' and he didn't sound irritated. Usually if she asked, he'd tell her it was none of her business and it was nothing. She repeated her first question, only to get the same response. She raised her voice the third time only to be told she was being ridiculous and the food was getting cold. She informed him she heard him invite someone in, only to get the same response once more.

She eyed him and asked as she slowly arose, "Then you wouldn't mind if I grabbed you by the shoulders and wrapped myself around you, pecking every inch of your body now, would you?"

He froze and watched her walk towards him. He shakily replied, "No- Yes- I mean- I-I don't know!"

She stopped in the middle. She firmly commented, "Tony, you're a horrible liar. Just spit it out."

He rolled his eyes, huffing, "Oh alright. I invited my parents over so they could get to know you better-"

The second sentence was a hurricane of words. He was hoping she wouldn't catch a word he said... But she caught every syllable perfectly. She folded her arms and smiled satisfactorily and mouthed 'I knew it'. She remained silent for a moment before she giggled, "Now that you've finally told the truth, I'll go change out of this, alrighty~?"

He nodded and watched her trot out, kiss his cheek and skip down the hall to the master bedroom as he walked towards the dining area. He grabbed a kleenex and tried to rub off the black spot on his face, but it left smear marks all over. Cursed lipstick.

His father laughed, "Eyy, there's the new man of the house! Where's your lady?"

Tony took a seat, still trying to rub it off, "She's changing out of her dress. She had issues with her corset."

"Oh, did we interrupt something?" His mother leaned over.

"Nono, she just blacked out on the way back and just woke up, nothing like that yet."

She nodded, "Well, weddings do tend to be tiring."

The men nodded in agreement. His father recalled, "You know, I remember the first night I was alone with your ma, your grandparents came over and nearly made her jump because I forgot to tell her it's tradition for the groom's parents to visit the same night...Hence why we have it in the day normally. The look on her face was priceless, lemme tell you that!"

He chuckled as he turned his head. Paige adjusted herself, greeted the guests and sat in the seat next to Tony, across from them. His mother asked, "So miss Paige, how do you like the married life so far?"

She rubbed her eye, "Eh, I don't know, I just got up when you got here so I haven't experienced it yet..."

"Oh, Tony just said you just woke up, we didn't know we interrupted ya."

"Oh nonono you didn't interrupt me, I was just getting hungry... Speaking of which, where's the food?"

Tony looked away, whistling. She started tapping her fingers, another pet peeve of his. He stopped and shrugged, "I called, so it should be here soon."

"How far was it again?"

"Down the street."

The phone started buzzing against the table. Immediately he answered. He nodded and said "OK" then dropped the call. The 3 unanimously asked, "Who was that?"

Tony commented as he stood from his seat and left the room, "The restaurant. I forgot I ordered to pick-up, so I guess I'll be right back... Meanwhile, feel free to ask Paige questions!"

The door clicked shut moments later. Paige turned back around, seeing the curiosity in her now in-laws eyes.

* * *

15 minutes later, Tony came back in the house to hear laughing. He slid off his loafers and carried the paper bag towards the table, seeing the three enjoying themselves. He was cheerfully greeted and returned it in the same tone. He entered the kitchen and flicked on the light.

He pulled out the plates and cutlery and returned to set them on the table. When he set them down, Paige grabbed him by the collar and yanked him close. She made him turn his ear as she murmured something that unsettled him. He returned to the kitchen for glasses, to notice one thing out of the blue.

The bottle of wine was propped open with the bottle opener right next to it.

He sighed. Paige was ditzier than ditzy when she had too much to drink, and he didn't warn his parents to not open the bottle if she wanted a drink of something because he thought he wouldn't be out that long... But the lines were longer than he thought and he didn't have his phone with him at the time.

He pondered on a solution. Kick them out? That would be too rude. Ride through it? That was a potential for disaster. His fingers tapped against the counter, until his mom announced, "Shoot! We're gonna be late for the movie! Tony!"

He poked his head out, "Yes?"

"We gotta go. It was nice meeting your new wife, we'll come back later."

"Alright, go see a movie."

"Bye!"

He bade them farewell and heard the door shut before he drew a breath of relief. Now all he had to do was solve his new problem. He picked up Paige, who protested, "Eyyy, who the fu- Do ya think yer doin'? Imma hit ya like a panda with a bamboo poleee-"

"Sure Paige. Right after you sleep again."

"Sleep? I doon't need no sleep, I'm wondergurrlll!"

He rolled his eyes, snickering before they reached the master bedroom. He set her down on the sheet, ready for her to start beating on him. Instead, she rose up, said, "Immmmmmmm gonna git youu...An' haaaarddd..."

She soon fell asleep, giving the male some quiet once more. He took the opportunity and flicked on the TV in the living room. A few documentaries later, he put on pajamas and went to bed.


	5. Decay

**:3 Rated K+ because Mary hits her head. Trigger warning: Brief blood mention. **

* * *

Mary gripped the tree branch, reaching for the ruby-red apple dwindling from it. She stuck her tounge out the right corner of her mouth and reached a little further, until-

_Snap!_

She managed to grab the fruit and was beginning to prepare for her descent until she noticed something peculiar about it. It was slowly being drained of its beautiful glow and started shriveling. Watching in horror, she screamed and fell out the tree.

Between the pain and shock of it, she forgot about the fallen apple and rushed to the back door, crying while rubbing her head. She tried unlocking the back door, until she watched it too turn to nothing. Lip trembling, she cried, "Mommy! Daddy!"

Soon the door flung open as Paige picked up and cradled the child, swaying back and forth, lightly rubbing the back of her head, shushing her. She heard a crash as Tony jolted out from the hall, inquiring, "Is she alright? Nothing broken?"

Paige frowned, "I-I don't know! She was at the door, crying and rubbing the back of her head."

"Let me see."

Hesitantly, the child showed her father the injury as he gasped. She was bleeding. He ran to the bathroom and grabbed gauze before bolting back out and starting to wrap it around her head. As soon as Mary calmed down to the extent of being capable of speaking, Paige asked, "What happened?"

She sniffed, "I-I was just getting an apple and then it started dying and next thing I know, I hit my head on the ground and I was trying ta open the door but- that went bye-bye also and then you came.."

Paige bit her lip, listening. Tony raised a brow, "Should I tell her?"

The child tilted her head, "Tell me what?"

Tony led them to Mary's room. If he was going to tell her, he might as well make sure nobody else heard it except him, her and Paige. They set her on the bed and sat down on both sides, glancing down at her. Tony began, "Mary, dear, you have a- trait."

"What's a trait?"

"Well, a trait is something you get from mommy or daddy, to put it simply. You'll learn more about those when your older... _Anyhow_, this trait could be used for good, or in some cases bad, it's entirely up to you. This trait gives you the power to speed up something's life and make it die quicker. Now, mommy and daddy are _**not**_ affected by this because we live forever."

The concept was confusing to her, but she semi-understood it. She asked, "Can I live forever?"

He thought on it for a minute, until he got an idea. He commanded Paige to take off the wrap. She nodded and slowly took it off. He looked at where it supposedly was and nothing was left. Not even a bruise.

He smiled, "Yes. You can."

She lit up before he continued, "However, to protect everyone else you meet, you gotta cover your hands."

"How do I do that?"

"Well, give me one moment."

He got up and left the room, returning with a box. It looked old and dusty, but it's contents were more valuable. He pulled out a small pair of gloves and carefully slid them on her hands. He knew it felt strange at first, but he knew she'd adjust to them sometime.

"What are _these_?"

"Those are gloves. Neat, eh?"

She shrugged. They were kinda itchy, in her opinion. She reached in her glove, scratched her wrist and clasped her hands together as her father continued the explanation. He asked, "So, do you understand it or is there something you don't get?"

She shook her head, "I understand it. I just wanna eat."

The adults laughed as Paige suggested, "Alright, you want an apple?"

Mary leaned back in horror. She realized her error and corrected herself, "Oh no-no-no, I meant to say ice cream?"

She nodded. Tony almost reminded them they had yet to have dinner, but decided against it due to the day the child was having. The two girls were already downstairs, chattering loud enough to be heard from the room they just left. He stood up and made his way down the stairs, smiling.


	6. Dear

**T.**

**Yay for the new DHMIS 3! :D Hope you guys have/had a happy halloween and enjoy this! Also, tiny request. If you would, maybe leave a review/critique? Thanks! ^^ Note: If you leave one, please don't be rude. If there's something I need to work on, please address it as _nicely_ as you can. C:  
**

* * *

Tony slid into the small house as quietly as he had slipped out. He knew Paige and their 3 roommates were asleep at the time, even though she slept in her art/bedroom most evenings. He crept to his bedroom and collapsed on the mattress, dragging himself under the wool sheets.

The heat blew on him, the mushiness of the mattress taking its toll. Soon, he was asleep with his work clothes still on; something he'd never usually do.

The light across the hall grew faint as the girl switched from her lamp to a candle. She slumped into her indoor hammock, lazily tossing her blankets over her. She kept tossing and turning, but nothing seemed to feel comfortable! Frustrated with it, her movements became more violent as the blanket continued to strangle her in it's trap.

_Crash! Ker-bing!_

She rolled across the floor, breaking free of the thing. Water tainted with paint trickling on the floor. Paintbrushes scattered everywhere, paint bottles' contents squeezed on the floor and her person. The door flung open, lights screaming, the boy she admired seeing the dirty sight. Oh she knew how he loathed her getting anything dirty, but with the room a mess, she knew he'd make her spend as much time as possible cleaning it up!

His eyes dulled with frustration as he aggressively rubbed them. His free fist clenched, and she was pretty sure he was grinding his teeth behind those chompers of his.

Her expression worsened as her tired face transformed to worry, then fear the longer the silence pursued. She sobbed, "I'm sorry, I couldn't get comfortable and I was thrashing around in my sheets then the crash and the-the mess and then you came and- I'm just really sorry! I'll clean it up the first thing tomorrow, or right now even! Do you want me to clean it now?"

He continued his glaring, his furious expression slowly degrading to nothing more than annoyance. He folded his arms, contemplating her punishment.

"You're forgiven." He commented finally, "As for the current circumstances, you will clean up this mess tomorrow. However, you do need a place to rest for the next few hours, so I have nothing else to offer but my bed...Unfortunately."

She could guess by his voice lowering that he didn't want to give her the option to sleep in the same bed as him. He believed it was wrong for friends to share the same bed. She, however, believed the opposing argument. His heels turned away from her, making the short walk back to the bedroom. She quickly jumped up and tried to catch up.

The white door creaked open, revealing a slice of his room. The floor seemed to be spotless-as to be expected from Tony. In fact, the cleanliness just felt so strange to her, she almost thought he did it on purpose for a moment!

He slid off the cotton shirt and climbed under the sheets, making sure she wasn't looking. She almost got in, until he started screaming that blasted screech of his. She slapped his cheek as one would with a normal alarm clock, and instantly he silenced himself. She asked, "What's wrong now?"

He snarled, "You're not getting into my bed wearing _those."_

"Then what the hell am I supposed to wear?"

His glowing red eyes gestured to the closet with a quick glance there then back to her. He added, "It's on the far right."

She snorted, "Why do you have women clothes? Do you do what I think you do?"

"No! Of course not, why would I of all people?! You know how I am with that sort of thing, your lucky to have gotten this far."

"Lucky to spend the next few hours sleeping next to mount screamer? Yeah, like _that's_ something I wanna do."

He made a face at her and turned to his other side, facing the wall. At least now, he couldn't be annoyed by that face of her's...If only he could do that about her voice. Then he'd be getting some genuine, undisturbed sleep and a break from her wall-banging, profane music.

He felt his back dunk into the side of the bed, the bed poking him. He turned his head, mumbling, "Don't bounce on my bed, paper."

"I have a name you know!"

"Oh right, what was it... Marie? Lucy? Betty...?"

"No, no and no. It's Sketch, however I prefer to go by Paige~."

"Mm? Why is that?"

She tossed the blankets back on her. She honestly didn't feel he was ready for the bombshell yet, but at the same time he'd pester her until she gave up or the time came around about it. She lunged herself to roll over, finding he was already looking at her. She smiled, "Because I wanna called that."

"Any other preferred, as you people call them, nicknames?"

She giggled, "Honey because I love you."

He gave her a disturbed look before she rolled back on her side. He almost spoke, but his train of thought was interrupted by the sound of her aggressive snoring. He shook his head and rolled back to his original spot, murmuring, "Love you too,_ dear_."

The girl smiled, "Does this mean we can date?"

He hissed, "No!"

Realizing he rejected a girl he just told he loves, he corrected himself, "W-Well...I don't know, we'll see. We'll discuss the matter further in the morning."

"But I wanna talk about it now...!"

"_**I said we'll discuss it in the morning and you can wait to discuss it!**_"

He buried his face in his pillow.

_Way to persuade her that you'll be nice, idiot._

He turned over again, cautiously touching her hair. She hated to admit it to him right then, but playing with her hair was one of the best ways he could calm her down. He tried to carefully scoot closer, but made the bed shake. He braided her hair and looked around for something to hold it with. Noticing a hairtie in arm's reach, he grabbed it and tied it off, tucking it between her neck and pillow. He pulled away as soon as she twitched.

He flopped back to his side of the bed. He murmured in as quiet a voice as he could muster, "Sorry."

His eyes were forced shut. He fell asleep as soon as her eyes propped open. Smiling, she replied, "You're forgiven, dear. We'll discuss it tomorrow."

She grabbed one of the bowties on the stand and wrapped it around her braid. Gently resting her head back down, she too went into a slumber.


End file.
